u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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