just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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