Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
COCAINE IS GR8
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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