I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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