i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
