a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
