Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize