Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
