And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
