I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
