who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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