The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
