Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
