drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
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I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
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she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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