i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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