I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
