I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
