apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish life had little blips of pornography
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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