im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
