i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
