Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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