i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Randomize
