How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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