HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
