I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
