so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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