So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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