Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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