You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
