I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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