Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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