it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
