..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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