i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
