I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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