I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
