I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
