so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
