It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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