none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
