O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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