I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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