Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize