I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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