Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
