I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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