If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
