Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
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