We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
