normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
