And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
