i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
