I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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