I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
