dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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