we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
