Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Vodka?
Forever.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
