i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
