about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
