Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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